When preparing for a wedding, the first thing the soon-to-be-wed couple will have to pay attention to is the guest list. It will be advisable to make a comprehensive and complete guest list before planning for the reception so you will have the rough estimate how many people might show up.
After the guest list was completed, the couple should start making or composing the wedding invitation. There are dozens of wedding etiquettes that cover this particular aspect of wedding preparation.
When preparing the wedding invitation, please bear in mind that your invitations will create a first impression of the coming wedding among the guests.
Good invitations, or those that adhere to acceptable wedding etiquettes, will create the impression or idea that the couple is caring for the guests and are valuing them as to inviting them to take part in the important occasion.
Preparing the wedding invitation
Most of today’s wedding invitations are prepared by professional printers. Some are part of packages offered by wedding planners.
Wedding invitations should be carefully and tastefully worded so the message would be effectively conveyed. Paying attention to even the smallest details in the invitation can make a really significant difference on how the invitation will be received by the recipients.
This particular section will focus on one aspect in wedding invitation preparation that most couples often neglect—the addressing envelope.
Envelopes
Addressing envelopes are often not paid much attention to because most couples and wedding organizers think guests will not pay particular attention to them.
It can be true. There are some guests that pay no attention or do not care about the general presentation and appearances of addressing envelopes. But there are a significant few that do care about how invitations’ envelopes are addressed.
For a start, we know that for every person, the sweetest sound or word is his or her own name. Thus, it often annoys them when people misspell their names.
In adherence to traditional and practical wedding etiquette, make sure that the addressing envelope bears correctly spelled names. Titles to people should also be mentioned and addressed in the envelope. Doctors would like to be called as one, as well as engineers, architects, lawyers and priests.
Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes also urge that couples or wedding invitation makers should spell out everything. Even titles in envelopes should be spelled out. Thus, Doctor is written instead of Dr.; Engineer is written instead of Engr; and Attorney is written instead of Atty.
Zip codes in addresses in envelopes for wedding invitations should not be hyphenated. Of course, practically, the addresses written in the envelopes should be accurate, or else, the invitation will be returned to you.
As for children, their names are not usually written in envelopes for wedding invitations. Wedding etiquettes for addressing envelopes have it that only the parents’ name are mentioned in the envelope.
For guests with no definite professional titles, do not forget to put Mr., Ms., or Mrs. before their names. This is a universal gesture that indicates respect to the person.
Inner envelopes
For aesthetic rather than practical reasons, some wedding invitations include inner envelopes. According to existing wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes are not a no, no, but they are not also required.
Wedding invitations can get away with it. However, inner envelopes certainly make for much better presentation. They may cost a little more, though.
The aim of inner envelopes is to clearly state or reiterate who exactly is invited to the wedding. Children’s names are never mentioned in the address envelope, but in inner envelopes, they can be mentioned.
In accordance to wedding etiquettes, inner envelopes also may appear less formal. Names and titles can be abbreviated.
Wedding invitations herald good news
Yes, wedding invitations are the herald or bearer of the good news. In wedding etiquette books, experts say the invitation should be considered a gift coming from the soon-to-be-wed couple to their beloved guests.
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People these days are thinking, does WEDDING ETIQUETTE still exist in our age wherein every rule that anybody can think of could be bent? In this rule defying age, it seems that WEDDING ETIQUETTE is just a thing of the past. But is WEDDING ETIQUETTE really now just part of history? I don’t think so. And maybe even you and the rest of the population don’t think so, too.
Every culture has WEDDING ETIQUETTE. Even if we think those who live in far flung areas are barbaric and do not know a thing about WEDDING ETIQUETTE, they have their own sets of rules and etiquette to follow. Their WEDDING ETIQUETTE may not be as proper as we think ours is, but for them their WEDDING ETIQUETTE is the proper WEDDING ETIQUETTE.
The WEDDING ETIQUETTE that we have come to know dates back from the 1800, at the time of the Victorians. Victorians are well educated, intelligent and well mannered. They value social manners and behavior. This is the reason why lots of social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE books had been published during the Victorian era.
The social and WEDDING ETIQUETTE practices of the Victorians has been passed on to us and became the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE of the westerners. These Victorian WEDDING ETIQUETTE has been modified or bent to suit our current culture and lifestyle.
What are the basics of WEDDING ETIQUETTE? Should we follow every rule in Emily Post’s famous WEDDING ETIQUETTE book?
WEDDING ETIQUETTE BASICS
In every all aspect of the wedding there is a WEDDING ETIQUETTE that should be followed. There’s a WEDDING ETIQUETTE to follow when creating an invitation, sending it out, and replying to it; in attending a wedding, guests should abide to the basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for guests; when sending out gifts there’s a WEDDING ETIQUETTE too that must be followed. <
Here are some of basic WEDDING ETIQUETTE for the wedding parties and the guests:
For the bride and groom:
- Wedding invitation must be worded either formal or informal. It depends upon the couple. If they want a formal wedding celebration, they must choose formal words. If the wedding will be celebrated with closest family and friends, an informal wording on the invitation would do.
Invitation should be sent out four to six weeks before the wedding. If your wedding is a wedding destination, you may send a Save a Date card to your guests six to eight months before the wedding. Your guest also need to prepare themselves financially and physically for your wedding destination.
- A bride can now choose any dress design and color that she wants. But if she will be wed in a church with strict rules on dress code, she should abide to the rules of her church.
- A groom may wear either a suit or black tie. He could also wear a loose dress in beige pants for a beach wedding.
- The couples should not ask for cash gifts. As for wedding registry card, they should not insert it invitation. Just mention in your invitation that you have an online wedding registry.
- The stepmother may seat at the church’s first pew only if the bride (if the bride is her stepdaughter) is closer to her than her mother. However, if the bride is close to both her mother and stepmother, she should seat her mother at the first pew.
For the guests:
- Invited guests should reply to a wedding invitation immediately after receipt of the invitation card or not later than two weeks before the wedding. Couples need to be informed of the actual head count for the sit down dinner.
- Guests should be formally dressed if the invitation is worded formally even if there is no indication that the attire should be formal. Women are now allowed to wear evening dress for a formal wedding especially if their escorts are in black tie.
- Guests are not obliged to buy gifts from the registry. Invited guests who can’t make it to the wedding are also not obliged to send gifts.
Gifts may be sent to the couple before or one year after the wedding. It will help the newlywed alot if the gifts will be delivered at the couples new address.
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Being the maid of honor and the best man have a number of wedding etiquette duties. This includes the church responsibilities of handling the train, making sure that everyone is in their place and hosting the reception program.
One of the important duties for any maid of honor and best man is to arrange for the bridal shower and stag party. Wedding etiquette for showers or stags can be done separately or together. It is a traditional wedding etiquette for the bridesmaids to have their own celebration as well as the groomsmen for their stag party.
For the bridal shower:
Women have more finesse when it comes to bridal shower parties. The wedding etiquette for such events may require the maid of honor to come up with original ideas for the shower. The first thing to consider is the format. The wedding etiquette for formats can be from the formal (a dinner) or informal (strip club party).
Aside from that, there are other alternatives like going to the spa, spending a party at the circus or whatever the maid of honor thinks that the bride will appreciate. A bridal shower is thrown in honor of the bride and her friendship with the girls. Wedding etiquette only calls for all the bridesmaid’s help in organizing it and making it memorable.
A proper bridal shower observes the wedding etiquette of a program. A simple one will do. Depending on the theme, the program starts off with an introduction of the bride’s friends, a round of games for everyone, the gift giving (if any) and then dinner.
Gifts for the bridal shower are optional but are a great wedding etiquette to follow. The bride’s friends can chip in for one extravagant gift or each of them can bring a piece for the bride. The wedding etiquette gift for bridal showers can be as tame as matching monogrammed towels to something naughty like lingerie.
The wedding etiquette for games is to celebrate it as a fun reminder of the bride’s single days or something about her current relationship. It is acceptable to have games purely for fun. But what the maid of honor has to remember is the shower giveaways.
Already considered as an art form, the giveaways or gift bags are a wedding etiquette must have. The bags should contain a souvenir (any object of choice chosen by the maid of honor), a thank you card for making the event and maybe a picture of the couple for remembrance. Yes it sounds corny but it is about the bride and groom.
Another wedding etiquette to remember is the timing of the bridal shower. An event like this should be celebrated weeks before the wedding date. This will allow the bride enough time to relax and truly enjoy the shower. And should she get drunk then, there is a lot of time to recover from the hang over.
For the best man:
A stag party is usually celebrated weeks before the wedding celebration. It is bad wedding etiquette to hold it the day before the ceremony. Things can go wrong what that happens. Imagine the groom arriving with a big headache.
All the stag party is concerned is the budget of the event. If the best man can get as much funding from the other groomsmen, the event can go well underway. Most wedding etiquette for a stag party is not followed but the concept is there.
Hosting is a wedding etiquette that the best man has to perform. Unlike the bridal shower, this process is very informal. The hosting job may only go as far as introducing the other groomsmen and then inviting in the strippers.
The wedding etiquette of providing food and drinks still apply though. If the stag party is held at the hotel, room service can be ordered up to their room. If they decide to celebrate in a bar, the menu is easily available to them.
The groomsmen can get as frisky as they want with the hired strippers but as a wedding etiquette rule, the groom should have self-control. The saying “Look but don’t touch” applies. Or if it is unavoidable, “Touch but don’t squeeze” will do.
Stag parties are different from bridal showers because men view this as their last hurrah. The most important wedding etiquette rule or both parties is to never ask what transpired that night. It will only open up suspiciousness and could cancel a wedding. Brides, just be glad that your man made it to the altar. By him showing up there and meeting you means that nothing further happened.
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